don't see this movie * (m)

Consider this my gift to you:  do NOT see the movie Master starring Philip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix.

I do not say this lightly.  I love both actors.  Think they are among the finest in the business.  Thought Joaquin was robbed of an Oscar for his role in Walk the Line.  I really believed I was watching Johnny Cash.

And Phillip in Capote?  Amazing.  He even helped carry that political thriller Ides of March. Loved him in Moneyball as the paunchy team manager.

Imagine my delight (I do not say that lightly) to see a television commercial showing both of them in the same movie! 

The fact that I couldn't get the gist of the movie from the tv ad should have been the first clue.  After 2 1/2 hours, I left the movie feeling:

confused-my husband who could follow Inception--turned to me at the end and said, "What did we just see?"

bored--I started to fall asleep during their sea voyage from San Francisco to New York--felt like it was happening in real time.

manipulated--some gratuitous scenes with naked women.. Even the men around us said it couldn't take the sting out of sitting through that drek for 150 minutes.

irritated--Joaquin talked as if he had just come from the dentist and they left the cotton roll in his mouth under his top lip.  Annoying as hell.


This movie is hideous.  The critics gave it 3 1/2 to 4 stars.  They can have it.