play interuptus (lyn)

There’s this great little theater called Second Stage.  It’s an off-Broadway house that produces contemporary plays.  A few years ago, I ushered there with my friend Penny.  When the stage manager made all the volunteer ushers stand through the entire first act (despite there being open seats), I confronted him.  He later told Penny I could never usher there again.  I’ve hated him ever since.

But I do still love this small theater, and am rarely disappointed in their productions.  Earlier this week, Robyn and I get $4 tickets (regularly $75) to see a new play there.  We are, however, skeptical about the play’s premise:

MODERN TERRORISM,

OR THEY WHO WANT TO KILL US AND HOW WE LEARN TO LOVE THEM

BY JON KERN

In the spirit of Dr. Strangelove comes Modern Terrorism, a provocative satire about a rogue group of 21st Century terrorists and their darkly comic misadventures. 

I call Robyn this morning and suggest not going.  She says, “Nah, let’s go.  We’ve already committed the $8.  If we don’t like it, we’ll leave at intermission.”

But the play turns out to be much better than its name and description suggest.  The actors are all convincing, despite the female lead’s obvious case of laryngitis.  At intermission, I turn to Robyn and say, “I like this.  I’m staying.”  She decides to do the same.

A little bit later, there’s an announcement.  “Due to an illness by one of the actors, the second half of the play will not be performed.  Please arrange for refunds or new dates with the box office.”

Perfect.  We’ll see Act Two next week. 

prayers for Holden (m)

My friend's son is headed to Afghanistan today with the United States Army.  His name is Holden.  Please keep him in your prayers.

Thank you.

don't see this movie * (m)

Consider this my gift to you:  do NOT see the movie Master starring Philip Seymour Hoffman and Joaquin Phoenix.

I do not say this lightly.  I love both actors.  Think they are among the finest in the business.  Thought Joaquin was robbed of an Oscar for his role in Walk the Line.  I really believed I was watching Johnny Cash.

And Phillip in Capote?  Amazing.  He even helped carry that political thriller Ides of March. Loved him in Moneyball as the paunchy team manager.

Imagine my delight (I do not say that lightly) to see a television commercial showing both of them in the same movie! 

The fact that I couldn't get the gist of the movie from the tv ad should have been the first clue.  After 2 1/2 hours, I left the movie feeling:

confused-my husband who could follow Inception--turned to me at the end and said, "What did we just see?"

bored--I started to fall asleep during their sea voyage from San Francisco to New York--felt like it was happening in real time.

manipulated--some gratuitous scenes with naked women.. Even the men around us said it couldn't take the sting out of sitting through that drek for 150 minutes.

irritated--Joaquin talked as if he had just come from the dentist and they left the cotton roll in his mouth under his top lip.  Annoying as hell.


This movie is hideous.  The critics gave it 3 1/2 to 4 stars.  They can have it.

more than just talk (lyn)

Around 1975 or so, call forwarding was invented.  I no longer had to stay home in fear of missing HIS call (whomever HE was at the time).  I was living in Chicago then, and remember how freeing it was to have my phone calls follow me to my friends’ homes.

Then, in 1983, I spent $250 for a big clunky answering machine, replete with a small rubber donut-shaped accessory.  When I left home, I would bring along the rubber donut.  By squeezing it near any phone’s mouthpiece, I could playback my messages.

And now of course we have the ubiquitous cell phone.  Mostly I can reach my friends and family whenever I want.  But another benefit is that I get to experience their lives in real time. 

When I talk to someone on their cell, they could be anywhere.  And often, I don’t know where they are until something happens that makes their destination known.  It could be the sound of another phone ringing that pinpoints them at home, or the loud clanking of dishes as they unload the dishwasher or prepare dinner.  Or maybe it’s the sound of cars whizzing by that tells me they are driving (if it’s a friend in another city) or walking (if it’s a local friend).  Or, maybe it’s the conversation that interrupts the one we are having.

“I can get off at this corner.”

“C’meer sweetie.  Lie down.  I’ll be off soon.”

“Do you have this in a smaller size?”

“So now we have to pay $800 in taxes…”

“No, you can put it all in one bag.”

“What the f**k are you doing?  C’mon mister, move it.” 

While I may be at home, vicariously I can ride in a cab, hang out with a dog, clothes shop, talk to someone else on another line entirely, buy groceries or drive in traffic.

I often feel like I’ve done so much more than talk by the time I hang up.  

possible reason for cable cost increases (lyn)

Let me start with this.  My mom is a smart woman; she knows a lot about a lot of things.  But electronics isn’t one of them.

I’m talking to her this morning, and she tells me the cable guy is coming. The rest of the conversation goes something like this.

Me:  Why, what’s wrong?

My mom:  I’m not getting the HD channels in my bedroom.

Me:  I don’t think you have HD on that TV.

My mom:  Yes I do; I have the same box as I do in the living room.

Me:  Ya, but the TV has to have HD, not just the cable box.  Don’t you have an old TV in your bedroom… the one with a big back?

My mom:  Ya, but I’m pretty sure it has HD.

Why she would think that, I have no idea.  

The cable guy arrives and tells my mother her TV doesn’t transmit in HD.  “But it’s not a wasted trip,” she later tells me.  “He gave me a new remote.”

beware (m)

Gloria is the 89 year-old mother of my friend Mary.  Tall, trim and ridiculously stylish, Gloria is a piece of work.  She wins almost every bridge tournament she enters and has a sharp tongue.  When I last saw Gloria, she was wearing white capri pants, a black Vince tee-shirt and black Manolo Blahnik mules and a large bangle bracelet. 

Her daughter Mary, by contrast was wearing Crocs with socks.

Gloria lives alone in a stylish apartment in Maryland.  She went grocery shopping today and, while putting some bags in the back seat of her car, someone took her purse which was in the shopping cart.

Gloria sped home and quickly called the police and reported the lost bag.  Then, she called
 her credit card companies and bank.

Within an hour, the police were at her door with her handbag. Inside was her wallet, cash, lipstick.  Everything intact.

She told the police she had just cancelled everything. What a waste!

The police responded saying they think she got scammed.

Essentially, some people are going around stealing purses, taking down the credit card information and returning the purses intact, lulling the owners into a false sense of security.  The thieves are hoping you don't cancel your credit cards which is why they return the purses so quickly.

I'll bet they were surprised this elderly woman was so sharp.

A younger person may not have been.

Consider this a public service announcement.

a missed night out (lyn)

Six of us are meeting for dinner to celebrate Zelia’s birthday.  We know each other through our sons, who were all classmates at Horace Mann; now they are all college sophomores.

Last November when we got together to celebrate Pam’s birthday, a fight broke out between two of the guests. They haven’t spoken since.  It was a relief when one of them had to be out of town tonight.  And I thought this only happened in high school!

When I was younger, I used to think that by a certain age (maybe 20?), everyone’s boobs would even out and be the same size.  I was either stupid or grossly naïve. I also thought by the time I reached 60, my emotions would not be similar to the ones I had at 16.  But fights among girlfriends still occasionally happen.

Yesterday I sent an email to everyone, as I’m the one arranging tonight’s dinner. I look forward to it all day.  And then…unexpectedly, I start to feel sick.  Last night I felt nauseous and attributed it to eating too much.  But then I feel the same way today.  I think the feeling will go away but it doesn’t. 

I eat a bland dinner and stay in.

happy birthday mom and dad (lyn)

My mother was only 18 when she met my dad, one hot July 4th in 1948 (at Onset Beach).  At 25, and recently returned from the War, my dad was older and more worldly.  He grew up in Brockton; my mom grew up in Boston.  They began dating and by April 1949, they were married. 

October 1949

Over the next seven years, my parents built a house; my dad joined his father’s recycling business (known more familiarly as the junk business back then), and had three daughters.  Together, they created a beautiful life.

August 1960, my sisters and me in matching skorts

Yesterday, my mom turned 83, and today, my dad is 89.  Theirs has been an enviable marriage.  They have been lucky; until now, it’s been pretty easy.  No major financial catastrophes, no problem children (if you don’t count the eruptions of anger I provoked in my father for insisting on long bangs), a lifetime of good friends, six great grand kids, and no major health problems.  They live in a place they love, and if you ask either of them, “What would you do differently, if you could re-live your life, “ I doubt either would be able to think of a single thing.

In the past three years, my dad’s health has declined.  His mobility has diminished, and he’s become more and more dependent on my mom.  He’s a proud man, so this has been  particularly difficult for him.  But my mom has surprised everyone with her continued good humor and caregiver skills.  For a woman who worries about weather ten days out, and what the traffic is coming over the Bridge (even when she's not planning to cross it), she is remarkably calm with my dad.  They have both lived blessed lives.

Happy birthday mom and dad; I love you.

august 2012