what I'm thankful for (m)

It's Thanksgiving morning, and I wake up feeling a little grumpy.  I'm in one of my moods where I am not happy with myself.  I've put on a few pounds since my lowest weight.  I don't feel attractive.  I don't want to go to my brother's house for Thanksgiving and see the same people and eat the same meal.  My nieces (sisters) are squabbling. My knees hurt.  I have so much to do before Christmas and the list in my head is long.  I have a bad haircut.

Throughout the morning, I get phone calls and text messages from friends, neighbors, relatives wishing me and my family a great day. Each time they call, I look at the clock and think I have to do laundry and clean the kitchen or something.

The sun is out and my husband asks if I want to go for a walk on a beautiful 54 degree Fall day.  I use the time to complain about something and get his advice.

As I'm coming up the hill from the field below me, I see my house, backlit by the sun.  And then, it hits me. 

I have a home. 

 I think of the people in Staten Island and the Jersey shore who recently lost theirs and may not be in a home for years.  Not days, weeks or months, but years.

I go into the house and there's another call from another neighbor wishing us a Happy Thanksgiving.

I have friends, and neighbors who care about me.  I am not alone.

I wrap my brother and niece's birthday gifts and tie ribbons on the package.

I do not have to worry about money.  I have enough to live comfortably.

We arrive at my brother's home and there's a fire in the fireplace, family preparing a meal, a football game on the television and a table beautifully set.  If this were a play, it would be one of the longest-running plays with the same scenery and most of the same characters and yet, I see it with new eyes.

I have a family.  I am surrounded by love.

And so, on Thanksgiving 2012, as my sister-in-law leads the prayer before the meal, I take an extra few seconds to give thanks for all I have, and to apologize for being so blind to all  I have. I hope l will never take it for granted again.