Friday, December 21, 2012

a tale of two tails (lyn)


Alexander and I love lobster, so when we were at Costco the other day, I splurge and buy two big frozen lobster tails.  I admit, I was skeptical. The lobsters hail from the warm waters off the coast of the Dominican Republic.  I have no knowledge of warm-water lobsters, but they look good, so I buy two.

Last night, I steam them.  It takes a major effort to crack open the tails, but my man Alexander is up to the task.  I serve them with a nice vegetable salad. Alexander takes one bite of the lobster and says, “Mine’s a little tough,” — a major understatement, as it turns out.  I can barely cut mine.  A few bites later I say, “These are horrible.” Alexander agrees, but by then, he’s eaten most of his.

I go online and find this:

When buying frozen lobster tail, ask the fish provider if they are warm-water or cold- water lobsters. If your fish provider doesn't know, just presume they are warm-water lobster and don't purchase.

I wish I had known! 

But the tails were expensive, and so I decide to return them.  Realizing the challenge ahead, I look to my track record for inspiration.  I recently returned year old boots to Bergdorf’s that didn’t fit right, and a defective down blanket with no tags and no receipt to Bloomingdale's.  But a half eaten lobster to Costco?   I have my doubts.

Today I carefully wrap the remains of our lobsters and head over to Costco.  I get there soon after they open, as I don't want an audience.

I go up to the Customer Service Counter with my receipt, my wrapped and substantially-eaten lobster tails, and two requests:

Me:  Hi, I’d like a credit on two items.  First, I was charged twice for a box of Fiber One Bars, and only bought one (this is true, though I have no proof).

Sales Associate:  No problem.

Me:  And I’d like to also get a credit on two frozen lobster tails.  They were really awful. (I hand them over).

Sales Associate:  I’m so sorry they weren’t good.  Do you want a store credit or should I credit your American Express?

It is that easy.  How can anyone not love Costco?

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